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Welcome to the world

In my mind I imagine that the mistakes I made are much bigger than they really are. To me that doesn’t make them any less of an imperfection of mine. I’m really trying to convince myself that I’m not as absolutely terrible as I make believe. The fact that I self sabotage everything makes nothing easier for me. I’m not the nicest person, even though it’s something I’ve heard so very often. But I know one thing for sure is that I’m not selfish. It’s funny that when I decide to finally do something to benefit myself or when I don’t stand down from an argument I’m being self centered. I think it’s actually because you don’t see me do things for myself very often… That it’s surprising. In my mind, the simplicity of it would be that you give me forgiveness because you need it, because I need it, because we need it. But in all the chaos I will be hanging on a limb until I fall. And finally… Welcome to the world of simplicity and the insight to chaos.

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